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January 04, 2007  Little Red's Schoohouse A few weeks ago, while enjoying my morning coffee klatch, I was asked how long Red Squirrels live. Without missing a beat I stated that the average length of a squirrel’s life was three months. My answer brought mild looks of shared disbelief from the other klatchers. So, I launched into a dissertation about the perils of life as a Red Squirrel. Upon finishing my spiel, I sipped from my coffee cup then gazed about seemingly content with the protracted answer. Had I been able to see my own face, I might have read there the most puzzled look of all. Where had I learned so much about squirrels? The answer is obvious - at the best place of learning - little red’s schoolhouse. From the day you first feed wild birds you are enrolled. No sooner is the feed put out than the first Red Squirrels appear. Tutelage continues daily over the course of many years; the teachers are many and sport luxurious tails that form hairy question marks. Though birds are generally intended as the only feeder beneficiaries, squirrels deserve more than mere mentions as they are artful cadgers and have interesting lessons to teach. At the klatch I estimated the average length of a squirrels’ life as 3 months. I may have been a bit off and after some consideration pushed the number of months to four. So why is the life of a Red Squirrel so short? Red Squirrels are born, as most small mammals, in a litter of many. The mothers care for the babies and when the babies become mobile they go forth and explore the mother’s territory. As the babies grow, so grow their own appetites for territory and soon there are half a dozen new Squirrels looking hungrily at her small estate. So, for the sake of her own survival the mother must drive her offspring away. This house cleaning usually occurs in late August or early September and results in a number of Red Squirrel road kills. The road kills usually are not the result of youngsters mistaking paved highways for suitable territories, or their lack of knowledge about vehicular movement; the Squirrels become killed when racing about desperately looking for their own territory. Granted, sometimes a flattened Squirrel is not a youngster but the holder of a territory caught up in a running dispute with a youngster. Land is the crux of a Red Squirrels existence. In order to thrive Red Squirrels must have a piece of land to call their own. From this territory a Squirrel wrests food and lodging and if lucky, a bird feeder or two. Red Squirrels detest their own kind. No pair happily shares a territory. Even mating, a brief and rough event has no look of amicability. Once mated, a female will retreat to her own territory and repel all others, even recent mates. Upon acquiring a suitable plot of land the squirrel hangs on by sheer brute force. Take my yard as an example. It is mid winter, a rather sedate time in Squirrel land. As in past years one Squirrel laid claim to the woodshed as the western edge of its territory, while another claimed the house and southern part of the yard as its holdings. Each Squirrel has stored cones, seeds, and berries and now spends their days, between naps, gathering new food items and keeping a close watch on their nearest neighbor. There are constant border incursions resulting in much chasing and scolding but unlike early spring, few all-out land takeovers are fomented. Red Squirrels do possess one trait that appears to be a small nod toward civility. It comes in the form of a call the Squirrel makes. The call has no name (that I know of) and is given and returned many times during the day. To make the call a squirrel sits on a prominent limb or suitable watch post, throws back its head, opens it mouth and emits what seems like a series of fast-paced hiccups. Not long afterwards, any nearby Squirrel neighbours, stop and return the call. Their neighbours, upon hearing the second call do likewise. In this vocal way Red Squirrels check the position of all Squirrels within earshot. A Squirrel also gives this call, or something very similar upon seeing a non-Squirrel threat in the area. A variation of this call is also given following a hard-on-the-heels-through-territory chase. It consists of a long hiccup followed by an angry squeaking. Those wanting to concentrate on feeding birds often ask me, “How do I rid a yard of squirrels?” I have no pat answer. In fact, if you look at my yard you might actually think I like Squirrels. I have given the shed-squirrel and the house-squirrel their own feeders. These are old bird feeders that look like small houses. Each has a hole into which a Squirrel can squeeze and I have placed each house in a spot convenient to the squirrels. The squirrels have taught me over the years that this type of concession is not going to keep them from trying to pillage and hoard the contents of every other feeder in the yard but I do it anyway. There is much more to say about red squirrels, most taught by the squirrels themselves. But I’ll end with the thought that for your own peace of mind accept that if you feed birds, you also feed squirrels. Enjoy them. Battle with them if you will, but realize the seed you put out to attract birds is sometimes the difference between life and death for the squirrels. Sometimes the difference between remaining strong and holding territory or growing weak and being driven off. Also cut them a little slack when they seem to want all the seed for themselves. Unlike humans, squirrels can’t rationalize just how much they need to live comfortably. To hear them think would be to hear them assert that even too much is not enough. And so, from their small fevered brains, they continue to teach us. 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